When my grandmother passed away I was in England, when my mom passed away I was in Kota Bharu, Kelantan (approximately 600km from my mom’s home-my hometown), when my Dad passed away I was again in Kota Bharu, Kelantan and he was in Kuala Lumpur. My eldest brother passed on in Johor Bahru while I was in Kuala Lumpur, my second brother passed on in Singapore, while I was on my flight back from Sydney and when my eldest sister passed on I was in my office in Kajang, 25 kms away. Worst was yet to come, when my mother-in-law and my father-in-law passed on , the former in the month of May and the latter in the month of August the same year, my children and I were in Birmingham, England. I was never anywhere close by to anyone of them. It was my mom’s death that left me so devastated, as I did not see her for the last time before the burial. Come to think of it, it matters only to the living as we feel that we need to meet the person we love for one last time, for we will never see them again. Of course we know that if we love them we can still reach out to them by giving sadaqah to them in any form of good deeds we do on their behalf or simply by reciting any surah from the quran for them.
My children probably thought that I am trying to be so dominating (though I don’t need to try...ha ha), for wanting them to live nearby my home. It’s just that I do not want them to go through what I did. I was never there for my loved ones and that left me with this feeling inside that I can’t explain.
However 7 days ago , on 6 Ramadhan 1434, I spent time with my dearest friend in her hour of need, I stayed by her for almost 15 hours straight except leaving her for prayers or to answer the call of nature. Not having a wink of sleep through the night, I went home at 9am hoping to come back by 3pm that afternoon but I arrived at 4pm instead. Not a second early and not a second later, within minutes of my arrival, my dearest friend, my sister was gone. After suffering from cancer for several years and being bed-ridden for the last 6 months it was alright to say goodbye to her especially as she was in so much pain for a long while. During her final hours another good friend was with her to help her through.
She was with me when my children were growing up. She attended their functions with me, she was with me when I sent my daughter to boarding school. When Azeem first knew her he was five and Azeem is now 21. When none of my family were there, she was. She bid us farewell on our journey to Birmingham and she too fetched us at the airport when we arrived a year later. It was like she never left the airport. She was family.
No more watching movies or masterchef (though she never cooks) series with her, no more bringing her subways , no more pyjama parties when my husband is away, no more outings with the children, no more girls day out with me and daughter, no more cooking laksa johor for her, no more eating durian at the ‘warong’ with two other of our dearest friends, no more, no more, no more. A Dear friend/sister to me and an aunt to my children, she will always be in our prayers. I thank Allah for letting me be with her during her final journey. I love you my friend and you will be missed in our family. May you be among the solihin and the syuhada. Amin. Al-Fatihah.
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