1st January 2013 is a holiday but today it was spent doing washing and vacuuming the house. In the evening I was at KLIA sending my son and family to Dubai. Came home and after solat maghrib I make doa for my family and literally shed tears for I realised how much I was already missing my grandchildren. I can't remember the last time I felt this way about missing anyone. My children would be angry at me when they read this for they should be top of the list when it comes to being missed.
It's strange how the emotions work. The feelings of missing someone you love is natural, the depth of it may be different and the people you miss terribly changes through time. It also depends on which side you are in as well. Are you the one who is leaving or are you the one who is left behind.
It's only now after being a mother for 28 years plus and a grandmama for over 3 years plus I began to understand more. I never knew how my mother felt back then cause she never tells me but now I think I know just how she felt and I should have done more to ease her pain of missing me. Those days we only communicated through letters and I obviously was not good at sending letters home. The fact that I left home at 12, I wondered how she dealt with that assuming that her love for me undoubtedly was like mine to my children. When my mom passed away when I was 27, I missed her terribly and thus I vowed to keep my children with me the longest possible, thus the reason I kept them with me until age 16 though the youngest never left home until 20. Is that a record by any standards?
The ranking of missing someone could be in this order in my mind, firstly mom, dad, wife, husband, children, nephew, nieces, friends, grandchildren (as they came later) one may think. However the list may change like the top 20 songs on the chart. After having grandchildren in your life don't be surprise if the munchkins came top priority. I never thought that day will come and today it did.....
It's strange how the emotions work. The feelings of missing someone you love is natural, the depth of it may be different and the people you miss terribly changes through time. It also depends on which side you are in as well. Are you the one who is leaving or are you the one who is left behind.
It's only now after being a mother for 28 years plus and a grandmama for over 3 years plus I began to understand more. I never knew how my mother felt back then cause she never tells me but now I think I know just how she felt and I should have done more to ease her pain of missing me. Those days we only communicated through letters and I obviously was not good at sending letters home. The fact that I left home at 12, I wondered how she dealt with that assuming that her love for me undoubtedly was like mine to my children. When my mom passed away when I was 27, I missed her terribly and thus I vowed to keep my children with me the longest possible, thus the reason I kept them with me until age 16 though the youngest never left home until 20. Is that a record by any standards?
The ranking of missing someone could be in this order in my mind, firstly mom, dad, wife, husband, children, nephew, nieces, friends, grandchildren (as they came later) one may think. However the list may change like the top 20 songs on the chart. After having grandchildren in your life don't be surprise if the munchkins came top priority. I never thought that day will come and today it did.....
Tak angry pun ma.
ReplyDeleteI dah record banyak videos untuk stock. Bila rindu, tengok video =D