A Letter from Mama

To my Dearest Children,

This is in response to your question Adik, as to whether you have visited Kg Kubor.  When you all were little before Ajim came along, I only went back to JB like once a year, the most twice a year. So since I married Abah in 83, I could have gone back once in 84, once in 85 and once when Tok Mak died on 8.6.86 where I went back alone because Abah couldn’t take leave. Of course then you were not born yet Dek. After Tok Mak passed on I never went back for Raya in JB, I think. Abah never considered Raya to be like Raya if with siblings and not with parents or grandparents, and it was my fault because I never insisted. Going back for holidays to JB was alright. Since June 86 I can’t remember how many trips we made back to JB. However I am sure I have brought you around when you were little i.e. between the time you were born and the year 1996 probably as after we came back from England in 1997 I am not sure whether we ever went back again with Abah but we made many trips to JB on our own. Remember Teluk Ramunia??? We were there at least twice? So if I had shown you Kg Kubor during those days maybe you couldn’t remember. That’s because it was just a trip. You never lived there like you did in KB thus you probably can’t remember.

The reason why I made this trip (10th Sept 2011) was because Uncle cared to know where I came from. We wanted to make this trip long time ago but I was too busy and last weekend I knew he would be with me thus the immediate plan to go. I also told him I will go provided we made all the compulsory visits , to see Mak Long, Tok Yah and Tok Uchu. We did just that. If you remember I did ask all of you separately if anyone wants to come with me  but everyone had plans. You know I went past forcing on all of you to do anything anymore, at least I think I have stopped that.

The trip was made with Cik Amal and Mak Long Yam. We first visited Mak Long in Taman Universiti. She was very quiet, slightly depressed during the visit but occasionally smiled when I teased her. She was missing Pak Long who had passed on at least 3 years ago. If we are not strong that is what love can do to us. Kak Edah, Kak Amoi, Abang Imi, Kak Ima, Ain (Kak Ima’s daughter who graduated from New Zealand)and Arisyah (Kak Amoi’s daughter) were all there happily greeting us Aunts and Uncle. They treated us with home made ‘Laksa Johor’ and ‘New Zealand’s recipe Shepperds’ Pie’ (obviously Ain baked it). We stayed a good two and a half hours.

Later in the evening we visited Tok Yah’s family. Mak June and Kak Huda (Mak June's daughter) were also there. Tok Yah was very chatty and she looked well except the fact that she has lost some of her memory from the past. Kept asking why we came so late in the evening, kept telling us she just couldn’t take a nap in the afternoon and kept asking who Mak Long Yam is? Sad but I guess it’s part and parcel of growing old. Cik Amal, Mak June and Mak Long Yam were busy catching up with lost time. All 3 were very close and only a year apart from one another. Mak June married early at age 17, while Cik Amal and Mak Long Yam went to further their studies. Mak June has 9 grandchildren while Cik Amal has 3 and Mak Long Yam waiting for her first grandchild.

That night we had dinner at a stall in Kampung Melayu where we used to ‘patron’. Kampung Melayu was our second kampung after we moved from Kampung Kubor. We had mee rebus Johor and satay, the usual combination for Johoreans and of course had otak-otak for starters.  On the way back to the hotel, passed the house in Taman Sentosa where we last lived in JB. We drove through the town past the old train station which has been overshadowed by JB Sentral and the CIQ. We couldn't recognise the place anymore. That was the train station where I took the train to go back to TKC after each holiday and come home during each holiday for five years. Either Tok Mak or Tok Bak would send and fetch me, the sending part was always sad for me as Tok Mak or Tok Bak would have to take the bus home as the train took me to Seremban. We did not own a car. We passed by the  old library, the one I used to go on my own every Saturday, did not seem to stand out anymore. It was dark, couldn't see if it is still there actually.  Then we drove by the sea front but there were no activities along until we get to Danga Bay area where all the dining and entertainment were. I was not that impressed, I would have preferred a walk overlooking the sea. There didn't seem to be a legal parking area for us to park and walk maybe except for a short stretch midway. We drove past the palace grounds on our right, past the red-brick hospital, the Straits View area by the hills overlooking the sea where the rich recide. I remembered my friend's house up the hill where we used to meet. She was the daughter of the famous principlal of SIGS Secondary, of whom I lost track since I left the school in Primary 6. I heard she became a doctor.The beaches where I used to play and look for corals did not exist anymore.  Of course the expressway stretches along the sea front, where previously we used to just cross the road to the beach. It's all gone now but the memories still remain. We then went back to the hotel in Danga Bay near the sea but did not get the seaview as it was just a cheap hotel facing the highway. We settled in for a good night rest.

The next morning was the nostalgic part, determined to share my childhood playground with Uncle, we went to Kg. Kubor. I passed Sophia's house, where I used to spend a lot of my time with her and family, then the Madrasah where my cousins later lived. The Madrasah and the houses there belonged to En. Salimon, the rich person in the village. He was a civil servant, then it was such a priviledge. He could buy the land then. Today a government servant like me can't buy a small plot of land even and after 30 yrs of service I only own a 22X75 ft of land where my link house stood.

We stopped and visited Tok Mak’s good friend Tok Uchu Amin at Lorong 3. She was home. The big house that seemed when I was a little girl didn’t seem so big anymore, but still standing. She is living there with her daughter whose husband had passed on and three  grandchildren, two girls and one boy. At least she has someone to take care of her. Whereas their neighbour also a family friend from the old days was not in as good a condition as Tok Uchu’s family. Mak Milah, the daughter and grand-daughter lived with like more than 20 cats in the house and she goes around the neighbourhood feeding stray cats in front of anyone’s house. In her lifetime she must have taken care of hundreds of cats and dogs. It started way back with her mom and when she was just a young girl. Now its like 4 generations of fur lovers. She was once such a lovely lady who simply love cats and would care for injured stray cats or dogs even.Today she is not herself anymore.

After leaving the house in Lorong 3, I gave a personal tour showing the ‘Big House’ -9G on Jalan Mariamah, but the old house had been torn down and a new concrete house had replaced it. The graveyard opposite the house where I used to fly kites were now filled with graves right to the edges of the compound and only a 7m road divides the house compound from the graveyard. We couldn't stop by the late Mak Ngah's house as we did not have time because if we did we would be there all afternoon as the cousins are known for their hospitality. The cousins by marriage were still living there. They were my immediate neighbour. Passed Tok Mak’s grave on the left but did not stop. Showed the route I took to school. Got lost looking for my school, Sultan Ibrahim Girls’ School (Primary) as the road network has changed in the area. i used to walk past my bestfriend's house to school and the house was not there anymore.  There I was clicking photos of the primary school while Cik Amal and Mak Long Yam took photos of the SIGS secondary school which was next door. Wonder if this could be the last time we will be here, who knows.  I showed Uncle the path we took to the beach during those days, it was a long walk to the beach from the house, the walk to the hospital where Cik Amal, Pak Cik Unos and the late Pak Cik Odin (Jamaluddin, my brother) were admitted because of typhoid and we all lost pak Cik Odin to typhoid and he was 12.
 
Later we visited Sekolah Tun Fatimah where Uncle’s late wife was a student there. It was only recently that I knew Mak Ham (Tok Uchu’s step daughter) was a friend of Uncle’s late wife because I saw their photo together from the album in Alor Setar when Teh showed me photos of her late mom. This was a trip that he wanted to do as he never managed it when his wife was around due to other committments. Now he has done that. 
 

All that done, we made our final stop to visit Tok Mak’s youngest sister. She was already very sickly, she opened her eyes only briefly when Cik Amal approached her and throughout our stay there she was not aware of our presence. She is living with her eldest son, Abang Hashim and his wife Kak Ina and their 3 children. I have many more cousins in JB from Tok Mak’s brother Bak Leh and Bak Long but we never had enough time to visit. It has been that way everytime. I guess we just have to make time, the next time around. It’s true I never brought you kids to meet them. As my cousin PakCik Noh said to me, I never bring my children, as he has never met all of you.

JB has changed so much, it is busier and we had to rely on the Garmin otherwise all of us would have got lost. If any of you are interested we can have a holiday in JB sometime. JB is still close to my heart. At least I lived there a good 12 years of my life but I never felt like living there again. Don’t know why? I was excited showing Uncle because I know he wanted to know. And that same night when we came home, he even googled my kampung as attached below.  If you are interested to see the place I am more than honoured to show all of you, if not you can just read about it. If you see JB now , I feel it is second largest to KL but more chaotic. I never really came from a kampung and I have always been a city girl at heart.

The trip all in all was very fruitful. Uncle was ever so patient with me, Cik Amal and Mak Long Yam, listening to our ramblings and most of all for accompanying us on our visits though he has never met any of the relatives before. Well then again, I sometimes wondered if I had been born of parents from one of the developed countries in Europe, then would you children rush to meet your relatives or to see the place where I was born in. Only you can answer. BTW Abang, I think Abah still wants you to go back to Kelantan to bring your wife and your two children to your birthplace. If the memories are too painful, take a little more time but let your children know where it all started. On the other hand if you bring them now, they will not remember. Maybe just to visit your aunt there. I will tell them what you do not remember after all you were only 2 years 1 month when I chose to leave both yours and Adik's birthplace behind and to look for a future in Kuala Lumpur. I know the trips back that we made after we left KB has a special place in your heart. Adik, have you made a trip with Syahmi back to KB?

Loves,

Mama