Selfless Soul

A little girl aged 6 asked her big sister aged 20, "Kak Arah, kenape Kak Arah bagi duit gaji Kak Arah pada orang2?". Nanti duit Kak Arah tinggal sikit lah. 🙄

Kak Arah started working as a clerk at the age of 19. Every month on payday she would make a list of names with a certain amount of dollar (those days before we use Ringgit Malaysia) by the names from my mom, dad, grandma, granduncle (Tok Chik), uncle, aunt and my siblings who were still studying including me. When I asked her why she disbursed her money, her answer was this ' Allah gives rezki to people, sometimes directly and sometimes indirectly'. So the list that she makes each month and the amount that goes to them are their rezki, she said. At age 6 that was my first lesson on sadaqah. This went on for years, but the list changed through time until she retired at the age of 45. She was a chief clerk when she retired, maybe not much earnings by some standards, but she gave a lot to the family. She was so generous with the little that she had and that reflects the big heart that she owned.

Every month she would buy fruits, chocolates and stationaries to bring to her nephews and nieces, children to her eldest brother. I would accompany her to take the bus to Johor Bahru (JB) town and then another bus to Larkin. Those nephews and nieces were the ones who lived in JB. She did the same, buying gifts for other nephews and nieces whenever they 'balik kampung' from Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Port Dickson and Sabah. My sister Chom and I always looked forward to her coming home in the evenings. The least we get each day would be sweets. Both of us were the most privileged because we lived longest with her after she started working when other siblings had 'left home'.

Kak Arah was always a good host on behalf of Mak and Bak. As my bro in law David Seigmund said, her shift in the kitchen was from morning to 11pm. She was happy to do it. No one and I can stress again no one leave the house hungry. That was her. She was also a superb cook. Until the end, she was still reminding us not to forget certain ingredients in some of the food we prepared.

When I was in College in Seremban for 5 years, she would send me RM30 every month. She would also packed me foodstuffs for me to bring back to College. Sometimes she also sent foodstuffs through my friend, Arfah Salleh's Dad when he visited her.

Kak Arah was the responsible daughter who took care of Mak (mother), Bak (father) and siblings since she lived at home the longest. My other older siblings too helped by giving monthly contributions after they had left home.

When Mak was hospitalised, after coming back from work, Kak Arah made sure that she cooked food to bring for Mak in the evening and stayed with Mak all night long. The next day she will leave for work from the hospital. She never complained. It was only after Mak passed away in 1986, that she transferred to work at the Registration Department in Petaling Jaya.

She too, took care of Bak when Bak was ill during his old age. By then she was already retired and took care of Bak at my eldest sister's (Saedah) house. Bak passed away in 1991.

Kak Arah bought both the 2nd and 3rd houses in JB for the family. In later years when my youngest sister and family moved to Selangor, she followed suit.

I love to chat with Kak Arah during those special moments. She was never married and when I asked her why, she replied she was discouraged from all the 'counselling sessions' she gave to her troubled married friends. She must have thought that men are so unfair to women and maybe that was why she never bothered. The truth is 'tidak ada jodoh' and she simply redha.

Kak Arah suffered a stroke in Dec 2009 and since then she never led an active life.

On 3rd July 2019 she was hospitalised for 10 days as she suffered from septic shock and the Doctor told us that she has two hardened heart valves. We managed to get an appointment for her heart check up only on October 21st in PPUM, the earliest they could give her.

On 22nd August Chom and I took her for her regular check up and that was when the Dr told us to take her to Emergency. She was in good spirts even though she was in the red zone, then transferred to HDW and to CCU on the 3rd day. She was very chatty and kept asking Chom to bring her more fruits. She was telling me how she met my late grandma and our late nephew Afiq. She never said that she dreamt and deep inside me I was preparing myself for her departure. That was my last real conversation with her. That same day, at 11.15 pm she suffered both a heart attack and stroke. She went into coma on Sunday 25th August until she passed away on 31st August 2019 at 7.38am in Shah Alam hospital. A sister, an aunt, grand aunt, a friend so beloved is now gone. We love you and we shall miss you, your smiles and your laughter too. A person with the kindest heart. She was 74 years 15 days old.

To all my friends and relatives who made doa for my sister Kak Arah (Zahrah Mohd Marjan), may Allah grant your doas and bless you with rahmah too.

Inna Lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. We surely belong to Allah and to him we shall return. May Allah place her among the solihin.

Surah Yasin 36:83
Therefore Glory be to Him in whose hand is the Kingdom of all things, and to him you shall be brought back.