I am the 11th child among 12 siblings. My late eldest brother born Dec 22 1935 and me are at least 23 years apart thus meaning when I was born he was probably working, married and have moved out of the house I was living with Mak, Bak & my other siblings. His firstborn came in 1962. He has 7 children and I remembered how much he loved his family. Never heard him raised his voice to them. He was kind and gentle. His mother-in-law and bro-in-law lived with him.
My late second brother was also working by then. He worked in Singapore, married a Singaporean and when I was about six years old I was already visiting him and his family in Singapore. My niece was born in 1966... I think. From him I learnt how I wanted to be from the way he raised his children. I remembered how much he discipline yet loved his children. He was an extrovert in my eyes. He hugged his children often. I was growing up in a very typical Malay family where hugging was not a norm. I wanted to be in that family too.
My memory of my third brother was how learned he was since he was already attending University when I was at a young age. I wanted to go to University, wanted to be like him. He was also the musical one. He plays the organ and the guitar. He taught himself without any proper tuition. He is the brother who had all the self-taught book including 'Teach yourself Urdu'. Later his two sons played the keyboard as well, one even read music at University. I never had the opportunity to learn the keyboards cause we did not have any at home nor extra money for me to learn music. Maybe that was when, it was planted in my head that my children would learn music someday.
My late eldest sister came next. I have written two blogs about her. Look up ' A Tribute to a Sister' and 'The Lady'. From her I learnt many things. She was a multi-tasker, a superwoman, a wife, a mother and a career woman who ensures that she played her role to perfection. When I was a year old, she had already travelled to the United Kingdom. I wanted to be like her of course that didn't come when I was one but later through my young age I wanted to emulate her.
My 2nd sister passed away when she was a week old. Never knew her. Mom gave my sister to her best friend cause she already had 4 children while her best friend had none.
Next is my 3rd sister whom I remembered was staying at home most of the time when I was growing up. She was working at the registration office in my hometown, so she was home a lot. She sews but she only sews dolls' clothes for my youngest sister. My youngest sister, the twelfth in the family. We are 3 years apart. Maybe she did sew dresses for my sister and I. My memory has failed me. My sister was special, she had so much empathy for others. At the end of every month when it was payday, I would watch her distribute her pay to my mom, dad, grandma, my uncle (Pak Leman), my aunt (Chik), my grandma's brother (Tok Cik) and at the end of it my bro, my sisters and I got our fair share as well. Upon deduction there's very little left so I asked her why she does this and she hasn't much left for herself. Her reply- what Allah gives is not all for her but for others as well. What a valuable lesson for me at a young age. She always bring home delicious food not just at payday but on no occasion at all sometimes she would still buy special food for the family. Every time she gets her pay, she would visit my eldest brother's family together with mom, myself and my youngest sister to bring chocolates and goodies and stationaries for my nephews and nieces. I wonder if they still remember, maybe they don't. My sis also helped mom with house chores. She never left home, not until after mom passed away, she was transferred for the first time to Petaling Jaya. She didn't work long after that. PJ was too much for her, what with commuting by bus etc.. She doesn't drive. Worse was because her boss didn't appreciate her work so she decided to go on early retirement. I learnt from her how to put others first before yourself. A Lion she is but very kind hearted. She would packed me food to bring back to boarding school, while mom would prepare the shredded meat specially every time. I grew up and she helped my mom and dad with the expenditure am sure. Even for my wedding she must have forked out some cash. Today my sis is staying with my youngest sister. She suffered a stroke about 4 years ago. She walks but very slowly. I help out my youngest sis anyway I can. I wanted to be a nice person like her.
I have 3 more brothers, the 4th, 5th and the 6th brother. My 5th brother passed away at the age of 12 from typhoid, I was about 6 years old then, and two other sisters, my 3rd sister is 8 years older than me and the other is my youngest sister. I went to a boarding school at the age of 12 and by then my 4th and 6th brother and my 4th sister went away to college except for my youngest sister who remained at home until she was 18. By then I was already doing my A-Levels in the UK.
Obviously I learnt a lot from my elder siblings actually without me realising. The home was actually a University where I learnt many things. Nevertheless Mom and Dad were always the disciplinarian and teachers of all teachers. In a big family like this, no theory about the first child, second, third or whichever child holds I think. The environment, time, resources, the extended family all has a great influence on each individual's outcome. Me being the 11th child, I wonder what theory holds for me. Growing up in my own family was an experience in itself that I treasured most. I didn't have to look elsewhere to know what I wanted to become in the future, even at a very young age.
My late second brother was also working by then. He worked in Singapore, married a Singaporean and when I was about six years old I was already visiting him and his family in Singapore. My niece was born in 1966... I think. From him I learnt how I wanted to be from the way he raised his children. I remembered how much he discipline yet loved his children. He was an extrovert in my eyes. He hugged his children often. I was growing up in a very typical Malay family where hugging was not a norm. I wanted to be in that family too.
My memory of my third brother was how learned he was since he was already attending University when I was at a young age. I wanted to go to University, wanted to be like him. He was also the musical one. He plays the organ and the guitar. He taught himself without any proper tuition. He is the brother who had all the self-taught book including 'Teach yourself Urdu'. Later his two sons played the keyboard as well, one even read music at University. I never had the opportunity to learn the keyboards cause we did not have any at home nor extra money for me to learn music. Maybe that was when, it was planted in my head that my children would learn music someday.
My late eldest sister came next. I have written two blogs about her. Look up ' A Tribute to a Sister' and 'The Lady'. From her I learnt many things. She was a multi-tasker, a superwoman, a wife, a mother and a career woman who ensures that she played her role to perfection. When I was a year old, she had already travelled to the United Kingdom. I wanted to be like her of course that didn't come when I was one but later through my young age I wanted to emulate her.
My 2nd sister passed away when she was a week old. Never knew her. Mom gave my sister to her best friend cause she already had 4 children while her best friend had none.
Next is my 3rd sister whom I remembered was staying at home most of the time when I was growing up. She was working at the registration office in my hometown, so she was home a lot. She sews but she only sews dolls' clothes for my youngest sister. My youngest sister, the twelfth in the family. We are 3 years apart. Maybe she did sew dresses for my sister and I. My memory has failed me. My sister was special, she had so much empathy for others. At the end of every month when it was payday, I would watch her distribute her pay to my mom, dad, grandma, my uncle (Pak Leman), my aunt (Chik), my grandma's brother (Tok Cik) and at the end of it my bro, my sisters and I got our fair share as well. Upon deduction there's very little left so I asked her why she does this and she hasn't much left for herself. Her reply- what Allah gives is not all for her but for others as well. What a valuable lesson for me at a young age. She always bring home delicious food not just at payday but on no occasion at all sometimes she would still buy special food for the family. Every time she gets her pay, she would visit my eldest brother's family together with mom, myself and my youngest sister to bring chocolates and goodies and stationaries for my nephews and nieces. I wonder if they still remember, maybe they don't. My sis also helped mom with house chores. She never left home, not until after mom passed away, she was transferred for the first time to Petaling Jaya. She didn't work long after that. PJ was too much for her, what with commuting by bus etc.. She doesn't drive. Worse was because her boss didn't appreciate her work so she decided to go on early retirement. I learnt from her how to put others first before yourself. A Lion she is but very kind hearted. She would packed me food to bring back to boarding school, while mom would prepare the shredded meat specially every time. I grew up and she helped my mom and dad with the expenditure am sure. Even for my wedding she must have forked out some cash. Today my sis is staying with my youngest sister. She suffered a stroke about 4 years ago. She walks but very slowly. I help out my youngest sis anyway I can. I wanted to be a nice person like her.
I have 3 more brothers, the 4th, 5th and the 6th brother. My 5th brother passed away at the age of 12 from typhoid, I was about 6 years old then, and two other sisters, my 3rd sister is 8 years older than me and the other is my youngest sister. I went to a boarding school at the age of 12 and by then my 4th and 6th brother and my 4th sister went away to college except for my youngest sister who remained at home until she was 18. By then I was already doing my A-Levels in the UK.
Obviously I learnt a lot from my elder siblings actually without me realising. The home was actually a University where I learnt many things. Nevertheless Mom and Dad were always the disciplinarian and teachers of all teachers. In a big family like this, no theory about the first child, second, third or whichever child holds I think. The environment, time, resources, the extended family all has a great influence on each individual's outcome. Me being the 11th child, I wonder what theory holds for me. Growing up in my own family was an experience in itself that I treasured most. I didn't have to look elsewhere to know what I wanted to become in the future, even at a very young age.
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