On Saturday 10th November, 4am in the morning, I received a phonecall from a friend and I somehow knew why she called me at the wee hours of the morning. Her husband Cikgu Amir passed away from heart complications.
The year was 1996, I used to wait for the bus to town in order to take another bus to The University of Birmingham, UK. The bus stop overlooks an Arab grocery store where I used to buy halal meat. Above the store there lived three Malaysians studying at the same University I was. They were senior English teachers doing their degrees under one of the teachers scheme under the Education Minister. Cikgu Amir was one of the three. The first time he said hello to me was while waiting for the bus into town. We talked about the cold weather, the family etc. The instances when we talked was while waiting for the bus and that was it. It was a couple of months later that his wife and two daughters came to join him and they all lived in my neighbourhood, Saltley.
The wife became close to me somehow. I used to live in her home state in Malaysia and I was quite good in conversing to her using her 'Kelantanese dialect' and when you are in foreign land and since, it was her first time in a foreign country, I could understand why she wanted to be my friend. Her daughter was close to my daughter as they went to the same school. Likewise my youngest son was her youngest daughter play mate both age 5 and 4 respectively. She has two other children an elder daughter and a son who was in Malaysia then. Cikgu Amir allowed my children in his house to play with his children while I was away at University and he allowed me to be his wife's friend especially when I needed a cup of tea with biscuits after a long day at University.
My family and I left UK for home before them. When they came back to Malaysia we just kept in touch via the phone and met occassionally and when I have work in her home State or when I go there for a holiday which was not that often either. Her 3rd daughter passed away due to viral infection a couple of years after coming home and my daughter lost her best friend. Till today I can still picture both of them singing and dancing to the tunes of the Spice Girl, very famous in the UK then and they were aged 10 then.
The wife, my friend was born the same year I was but instead of furthering her studies at 18 like I did, she married her English teacher instead i.e. Cikgu Amir. She had her first child when she was 19. We led contrasting life, while I furthered my studies in the UK experiencing life out there, she was in her comfort zone, well taken care of by her husband. Our families shared many great moments together though not very frequent.We met at my daughter's wedding, I was at her son's wedding. We visited each other when we could.
I visited my friend on Saturday 22nd Dec. She seemed to be coping well with her loss. She tries not to grieve too much she said cause the last time she did when she lost her daughter, she developed hypertension. She is now living alone since all her children are living outside the state and her youngest daughter is still studying at a University in my home State, Johore. My arrangement with her is to meet her whenever I can either in Kota Bharu, Penang where her daughter lives, Kulim where her son lives and Subang where I live.
My friend was full of good memories of her late husband. Cikgu Amir was 5 years older than her. Cikgu Amir was a fine gentleman. He provided her well when he was alive and even in death. I feel relieved for my friend. At least I don't have to worry about her too much.
May Allah bless his soul. Al-Fatihah.
The year was 1996, I used to wait for the bus to town in order to take another bus to The University of Birmingham, UK. The bus stop overlooks an Arab grocery store where I used to buy halal meat. Above the store there lived three Malaysians studying at the same University I was. They were senior English teachers doing their degrees under one of the teachers scheme under the Education Minister. Cikgu Amir was one of the three. The first time he said hello to me was while waiting for the bus into town. We talked about the cold weather, the family etc. The instances when we talked was while waiting for the bus and that was it. It was a couple of months later that his wife and two daughters came to join him and they all lived in my neighbourhood, Saltley.
The wife became close to me somehow. I used to live in her home state in Malaysia and I was quite good in conversing to her using her 'Kelantanese dialect' and when you are in foreign land and since, it was her first time in a foreign country, I could understand why she wanted to be my friend. Her daughter was close to my daughter as they went to the same school. Likewise my youngest son was her youngest daughter play mate both age 5 and 4 respectively. She has two other children an elder daughter and a son who was in Malaysia then. Cikgu Amir allowed my children in his house to play with his children while I was away at University and he allowed me to be his wife's friend especially when I needed a cup of tea with biscuits after a long day at University.
My family and I left UK for home before them. When they came back to Malaysia we just kept in touch via the phone and met occassionally and when I have work in her home State or when I go there for a holiday which was not that often either. Her 3rd daughter passed away due to viral infection a couple of years after coming home and my daughter lost her best friend. Till today I can still picture both of them singing and dancing to the tunes of the Spice Girl, very famous in the UK then and they were aged 10 then.
The wife, my friend was born the same year I was but instead of furthering her studies at 18 like I did, she married her English teacher instead i.e. Cikgu Amir. She had her first child when she was 19. We led contrasting life, while I furthered my studies in the UK experiencing life out there, she was in her comfort zone, well taken care of by her husband. Our families shared many great moments together though not very frequent.We met at my daughter's wedding, I was at her son's wedding. We visited each other when we could.
I visited my friend on Saturday 22nd Dec. She seemed to be coping well with her loss. She tries not to grieve too much she said cause the last time she did when she lost her daughter, she developed hypertension. She is now living alone since all her children are living outside the state and her youngest daughter is still studying at a University in my home State, Johore. My arrangement with her is to meet her whenever I can either in Kota Bharu, Penang where her daughter lives, Kulim where her son lives and Subang where I live.
My friend was full of good memories of her late husband. Cikgu Amir was 5 years older than her. Cikgu Amir was a fine gentleman. He provided her well when he was alive and even in death. I feel relieved for my friend. At least I don't have to worry about her too much.
May Allah bless his soul. Al-Fatihah.
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