I am so sorry Mak!

Today is Mother's Day. Ever since the children were small they never forget to wish me Happy Mother's Day together with either a glass Rose and a small note or many more gifts. Not just that they even showed that love need not be costly though it might cost them a fortune to get the rose. At the same time they also exihibit their artist's skill.

Lately, was there a fatwa that in Islam it's haram to celebrate Mother's Day? Have to check that out. On the other hand the ustaz said that every day is Mother's Day and it shouldn't be just one day. I won't argue on these things but let me just say from the depth of my heart what Mother's Day is to me.

If I said how good my children have been to me, I beg forgiveness from Allah for not an ion in me feel riak from that statement. It only makes me think back how I was to my mother. Maybe due to my upbringing then, we were not very demonstrative about our love to Mak and vice versa. These days it's more openly said and shown. Now that I have been a mom for more years than I can be thankful for, it's only now I know how my mother felt for me as a Mom. Everyday that I am alive I thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to be there for my children for as long as they still need me. Now that all have grown, the eldest married with two kids, the second happily married and still on honeymoon and the youngest in University away from home and who is still single. Alhamdulillah, should I be taken away immediately I do not have to worry about them having a roof over their heads or where they are going to get their next meal. My worry would be if whether they still miss their daily prayers, or whether their wives and children will diligently do their prayers,or whether they read and practice the Al-Quran,or whether my son is a good husband or my daughter is a good wife, whether their quality of lives with their children are better than mine from the islamic perspective... in simple words while I am still alive I worry about so many things regarding the children. Mother's Day to me is asking myself whether I have done good for them, to last them for a lifetime and through many generations to come. Mak (my Mom)probably felt the same about all her children then, upon her passing I never stopped asking whether she loved me. If I did not do what was expected of me as a daughter then, I am so sorry Mak for I was simply a selfish person not because of my upbringing but because of simply who I was and the circumstances then. I have tried harder to be a better person since and it's only now that I don't doubt your love for me,not since I know how much I truly love my children, thus I know for certain your love for me could not be any less. A mother's job is never done until she closes her eyes forever, I know that now. To all my children, I love all of you so much, Mother's Day or not. To Mak, I love you and may Allah shower his blessings on your soul. Al-Fatihah.