My spiritual journey from those days of not fulfilling my obligations as a muslim to the moments of receiving Hidayah from Allah s.w.t. was a long and slow journey. However Alhamdulillah as I climbed out of the lowest point in my life, I knew then that Allah s.w.t. has not forgotten me. During Ramadhan 2000 as mentioned in my earlier blog ' Don't take things for Granted', I made doa that I wanted to perform the fasting during Ramadhan in Makkah the following year. I was working towards that, saving up as I planned to go with my three children. Then they were 17, 15 and 10 years of age. I made many enquiries as to which agent would be best to organise the trip. I then made bookings for the four of us not knowing anyone in the group if we had taken the trip organised by that travel agent. Before I did the payment it did occurr to me whether I could cope having to take care of my children while trying to focus on Ibadah in the Holy Land.
Three weeks before the said date of departure, I chickened out as I was afraid I could not cope. Thus I phoned the travel agent to cancell my booking. That was at 12 noon, thereabouts. Feeling sad but too afraid to venture, I simply redha. At approximately past two o'clock in the afternoon, my colleague whose room was beside mine inthe office came to my room and asked me if I wanted to perform Umrah during the last 10 days of the coming Ramadhan together with her best friend as she needed a room-mate for the Umrah trip. I uttered Astaghafirullah, Masyallah and told her that I just cancelled the trip with the agent. Was this God's message of telling me I must go because it seemed like I was invited to see Baitullah. I couldn't refuse. So I said yes and I asked if there was still another place as I thought it would be a good opportunity to bring my eldest son along. In the end it worked out that my son was able to go and the lady I was suppose to bunk in with had a young girl as a roommate and thus I was able to stay with my son. Thus on the 20th Ramadhan I stepped foot in Makkah the Holy Land to perform Umrah and spent the last ten days of Ramadhan there, with the Grace of Allah s.w.t.
As I caught the first sight of the Kaabah, only then I understood what it means by Allah the Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim. Despite all that I did not do, God still allow me in his 'House' and with a humble heart I prayed for forgiveness like I have never done before. The 10 days stay was an experience hard to forget. The Hijrah in my soul was hard to explain but that Umrah trip was only the beginning. Subhanallah....
Three weeks before the said date of departure, I chickened out as I was afraid I could not cope. Thus I phoned the travel agent to cancell my booking. That was at 12 noon, thereabouts. Feeling sad but too afraid to venture, I simply redha. At approximately past two o'clock in the afternoon, my colleague whose room was beside mine in
As I caught the first sight of the Kaabah, only then I understood what it means by Allah the Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim. Despite all that I did not do, God still allow me in his 'House' and with a humble heart I prayed for forgiveness like I have never done before. The 10 days stay was an experience hard to forget. The Hijrah in my soul was hard to explain but that Umrah trip was only the beginning. Subhanallah....
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