Someone I love asked herself what her life would be if her mom was not sick the last 15 years of her mom's life. Her mom was a lady I knew since I was a child. If I am correct, she was already a trained teacher from Kirby, England even before my first birthday. I remembered during my early years, I owned a brown teddy bear about a foot long and am very sure that lady gave me as a present when she came home from England. Having something from England and being close to someone who was trained in far away land was not the norm those days. During my early years I was surrounded by people who were already at Universities and the lady together with a few others indirectly set the example for me to choose the path I was to lead many years later.
The lady and her husband were a very generous couple. They together took care of their respective parents and mother even though the lady never lived with her parents after she was married. Her husband's family lived with her and her husband. This went on to include the extended family on both sides. They never seemed worried if both their take home pay would be sufficient to share with whoever was living with them whenever.
In my eyes, the lady was very beautiful. She adorned a perfect figure clad in kebaya which non of her other siblings were. She was a beauty both in and out by the fact that she opens her home to many. She was a good mother juggling her career and her role at home. Despite having an aunt to help with the house work, she manages everything from ensuring meals are served four times a day, breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner for everyone at home. Clothes get washed and ironed, the house cleaned, vacuumed and mopped often. Her children were always top priority, I know cause I knew the children, all of them. I am only several years older than her eldest son.
I used to be at her homes during holidays may it be in Batu Pahat, Mersing, Melaka, Penang and finally Kuala Lumpur. I must have gone to those places with her mom, who is also another wonderful lady. She brought us to see places and school holidays were always so memorable those days.
She never forgets everyone's birthdays nor her own anniversary, always making sure it was celebrated if not in a big way or otherwise at least for the family. There was a lot of things happening with her around. She assisted her mom & Dad am sure when her siblings were married, not one or two but four of them. The fifth was married in the US so she did not contribute monetary wise to that one I guess.
She was the type of mom who would go all out to ensure her child dressed well in a competition complete with head gear as a Minangkabau young lady. Both girls were dressed up like dolls to parade in the children's fancy dress competition. She always dressed her sons smartly and her girls beautifully when they were children until all grew up to become beautiful and responsible adults.
I lived away from her from 1977 to 1982, was living with her from August 1982 to July 1983 and which after that I was married and lived out of state for three years. I missed quite a lot presumably during all those years. Then came the year 1995 or was it 1996 when she went for an operation that led to her comatose state. She was already 50 then or more.
Wonder no more, if she was well she would have attended all her children's graduation overseas or local, a proud mother smiling her sweet smiles, pictures of her hugging her children with joy because she is simply that type of a person. She would ensure that the graduation robe was worn properly and the hat too, making sure that the boys would not wear sneakers and the girls a nice comfortable pump shoes.
She would want to be with her girls on their first date but being the mother she was she would remind her girls gently the dos and the don'ts and willingly allow them to go on their first dates. Then she would be looking at the clock on the wall just like any protective mother would do.
Don't forget all the weddings she would have organised, she would plan to the minute details from the bedroom, the wedding dress the dresses and flowers for the bouquet girls and all this done by her daughters maybe just what she would have done herself. The weddings would be grand in her own way. She would probably hide her tears and quickly wipe them off after the daughters were solemnised. Unlike me I have never seen her shed tears in public, she was a private person and not one to share her problems with just anyone, I think.
She would do a lot of traveling with her family if she was well, visiting her friends, relatives, welcoming them to her home every so often. She would see the world if she had the choice. She would continue to share food she prepared with her neighbours, rich or poor, she didn't see the difference, the lady with the warm heart. The mango tree in front of her house bore fruits continuously because she always shared them with her neighbours and anyone who came to visit or to any passersby who asked for it.
She would be playing with her grandkids yet insisting that they behave. She would remind her children to send the grandkids for quran classes or to the religious schools. She would always have presents wrapped up for the grandkids complete with ribbons. She would draw, paint, an artist in her own right and play boardgames with them and underneath she would feel so happy to have so many beautiful, smart and well behaved grandkids and of which two are now studying overseas just like her some 50 years ago.
In her sickness she was still there for all her children. The children meet almost every weekend at her home to visit her and hubby. She was not able to advise her children how to live their lives or how should they be as grown ups, but the children grew up through those years with more kindness, empathy, love, care and gentleness, all from caring for her for more than 15 years. They became more independent individuals and more responsible in taking care of their own families cause mom was not able to help physically. They learnt to deal with whatever problems they have with their spouses and that makes her children's own family more intact at least from an outsider 's view like me. She indirectly taught her grandchildren to respect others, in sickness or in health.
She couldn't do physical chores with her children but throughout all those years in her own way she was there teaching the children to be a kind person like she was, truthful like she was for showering love to a sick person bares all honesty in anyone, responsible to their father by visiting often, the list goes on. Never for a moment more wonder who or how you would have been if she was well for she was moulding you to become who you are without you knowing. All with the help of Allah s.w.t. May Allah have mercy on all of us and together we will meet this lady in Jannah. Amin.
The lady and her husband were a very generous couple. They together took care of their respective parents and mother even though the lady never lived with her parents after she was married. Her husband's family lived with her and her husband. This went on to include the extended family on both sides. They never seemed worried if both their take home pay would be sufficient to share with whoever was living with them whenever.
In my eyes, the lady was very beautiful. She adorned a perfect figure clad in kebaya which non of her other siblings were. She was a beauty both in and out by the fact that she opens her home to many. She was a good mother juggling her career and her role at home. Despite having an aunt to help with the house work, she manages everything from ensuring meals are served four times a day, breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner for everyone at home. Clothes get washed and ironed, the house cleaned, vacuumed and mopped often. Her children were always top priority, I know cause I knew the children, all of them. I am only several years older than her eldest son.
I used to be at her homes during holidays may it be in Batu Pahat, Mersing, Melaka, Penang and finally Kuala Lumpur. I must have gone to those places with her mom, who is also another wonderful lady. She brought us to see places and school holidays were always so memorable those days.
She never forgets everyone's birthdays nor her own anniversary, always making sure it was celebrated if not in a big way or otherwise at least for the family. There was a lot of things happening with her around. She assisted her mom & Dad am sure when her siblings were married, not one or two but four of them. The fifth was married in the US so she did not contribute monetary wise to that one I guess.
She was the type of mom who would go all out to ensure her child dressed well in a competition complete with head gear as a Minangkabau young lady. Both girls were dressed up like dolls to parade in the children's fancy dress competition. She always dressed her sons smartly and her girls beautifully when they were children until all grew up to become beautiful and responsible adults.
I lived away from her from 1977 to 1982, was living with her from August 1982 to July 1983 and which after that I was married and lived out of state for three years. I missed quite a lot presumably during all those years. Then came the year 1995 or was it 1996 when she went for an operation that led to her comatose state. She was already 50 then or more.
Wonder no more, if she was well she would have attended all her children's graduation overseas or local, a proud mother smiling her sweet smiles, pictures of her hugging her children with joy because she is simply that type of a person. She would ensure that the graduation robe was worn properly and the hat too, making sure that the boys would not wear sneakers and the girls a nice comfortable pump shoes.
She would want to be with her girls on their first date but being the mother she was she would remind her girls gently the dos and the don'ts and willingly allow them to go on their first dates. Then she would be looking at the clock on the wall just like any protective mother would do.
Don't forget all the weddings she would have organised, she would plan to the minute details from the bedroom, the wedding dress the dresses and flowers for the bouquet girls and all this done by her daughters maybe just what she would have done herself. The weddings would be grand in her own way. She would probably hide her tears and quickly wipe them off after the daughters were solemnised. Unlike me I have never seen her shed tears in public, she was a private person and not one to share her problems with just anyone, I think.
She would do a lot of traveling with her family if she was well, visiting her friends, relatives, welcoming them to her home every so often. She would see the world if she had the choice. She would continue to share food she prepared with her neighbours, rich or poor, she didn't see the difference, the lady with the warm heart. The mango tree in front of her house bore fruits continuously because she always shared them with her neighbours and anyone who came to visit or to any passersby who asked for it.
She would be playing with her grandkids yet insisting that they behave. She would remind her children to send the grandkids for quran classes or to the religious schools. She would always have presents wrapped up for the grandkids complete with ribbons. She would draw, paint, an artist in her own right and play boardgames with them and underneath she would feel so happy to have so many beautiful, smart and well behaved grandkids and of which two are now studying overseas just like her some 50 years ago.
In her sickness she was still there for all her children. The children meet almost every weekend at her home to visit her and hubby. She was not able to advise her children how to live their lives or how should they be as grown ups, but the children grew up through those years with more kindness, empathy, love, care and gentleness, all from caring for her for more than 15 years. They became more independent individuals and more responsible in taking care of their own families cause mom was not able to help physically. They learnt to deal with whatever problems they have with their spouses and that makes her children's own family more intact at least from an outsider 's view like me. She indirectly taught her grandchildren to respect others, in sickness or in health.
She couldn't do physical chores with her children but throughout all those years in her own way she was there teaching the children to be a kind person like she was, truthful like she was for showering love to a sick person bares all honesty in anyone, responsible to their father by visiting often, the list goes on. Never for a moment more wonder who or how you would have been if she was well for she was moulding you to become who you are without you knowing. All with the help of Allah s.w.t. May Allah have mercy on all of us and together we will meet this lady in Jannah. Amin.
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